Biden Forced Back into Cone of Shame After Baby-Biting Incident!
Written by Michael J. Goodwin. In a headline nobody expected (or wanted), President Joe Biden has been fitted once again with the infamous…
Thanks to the Biden/Harris Economy, Trump Needs Two New Jobs: McDonald’s Fry Cook and Garbage Man!
Written by Thomas Whitaker. In a twist no one saw coming, former President Donald Trump has reportedly taken up a part-time job at…
Marlboro Adds Puberty Blockers to Cigarettes to Make Them Legal For Kids!
Written by Samuel Richter. It seems Big Tobacco’s “forward-thinking” days are here, folks! Marlboro has officially announced a brand-new product line: cigarettes with…
Swanson Embraces Wokeness with New “Hungry They/Them” TV Dinners – for Every Appetizing Identity!
Written by Caleb Peterson. Well, folks, Swanson has officially thrown its hat into the “woke” ring with their latest culinary masterpiece: the Hungry…
Amelia Earhart Reappears After 86 Years… to Accuse Donald Trump of Groping!
Written by Christopher Daniels. After an 86-year disappearance that baffled scientists, historians, and conspiracy theorists alike, Amelia Earhart has finally resurfaced. But instead…
51 Former Intelligence Officers Claim Kamala Harris “Woked” at McDonald’s—It’s the Deep Fry, Not the Deep State!
Written by Michael Thompson. In the most bizarre revelation since Kamala Harris claimed she listened to Tupac in college (before he even released…
Only Known Photo Surfaces of Kamala Harris “Working” at McDonald’s!
Written by Daniel Collins. In a twist that no one saw coming—except maybe the photo editors on Twitter—a picture surfaced allegedly showing Kamala…
Video of Endangered Manatee Tangled in Trash Bag Goes Viral!
Written by Abigail Cross. A video that supposedly shows a helpless manatee tangled in a plastic bag has captured the hearts of the…
Mexico Building Border Wall to Keep Fleeing Americans Out in Anticipation of Kamala Harris Victory!
Written by Joshua Daniels. In an ironic twist that no one saw coming—except maybe Mexico—our southern neighbors have officially announced plans to build…