Written by Sarah Williams.
In what can only be described as the boldest cinematic move since Song of the South, Disney has released Loot 2, an animated feature designed to “empower” the next generation of young looters—particularly Black kids—by teaching them how to do it with both style and efficiency. No, this isn’t satire; it’s the latest chapter in Disney’s ongoing effort to stay relevant, woke, and completely out of touch with reality.
In Loot 2, our young hero, Jamal, is a loveable street-smart teen who learns the art of looting through a series of whimsical musical numbers and heartfelt pep talks from a mentor figure who just happens to be a retired bank robber. The film is set in an animated version of the inner city, where every broken window represents a new opportunity for self-expression.
Disney, clearly unfazed by the potential backlash, describes the movie as “a celebration of urban creativity and resourcefulness.” And in typical Disney fashion, they’ve managed to make looting look so appealing that you might just want to grab a crowbar and join in. After all, nothing says “fun for the whole family” quite like a sing-along during a smash-and-grab.
Teaching the Next Generation of Looters with Love and Song
As if the premise wasn’t already absurd enough, Loot 2 also features a series of catchy songs that are sure to get stuck in your head—whether you want them to or not. The standout track, “Grab It Fast, It’s Gonna Last,” is a toe-tapping anthem about the joys of looting a convenience store, complete with a chorus of animated sneakers and flat-screen TVs dancing along to the beat.
But it’s not all fun and games. Disney insists that Loot 2 is a deeply educational film, designed to teach young audiences the “do’s and don’ts” of looting in a way that’s both entertaining and instructional. The film emphasizes the importance of proper technique, timing, and, of course, having a good escape plan. Because nothing says responsible parenting like letting your kids learn the finer points of looting from an animated feature.
Critics, unsurprisingly, are already having a field day. Some are calling Loot 2 a dangerous glorification of criminal behavior, while others argue that it’s just another example of Disney pandering to the lowest common denominator. But Disney remains undeterred, confident that their new film will be a hit with both children and adults who appreciate their unique brand of family-friendly chaos.
Can You Loot with Dignity? Disney Thinks So!
Of course, no Disney movie would be complete without a moral lesson, and Loot 2 is no exception. By the end of the film, Jamal learns that looting isn’t just about taking stuff—it’s about doing it with dignity, grace, and a deep sense of self-respect. Because if you’re going to commit a crime, you might as well do it in style, right?
In one particularly memorable scene, Jamal, having just looted a high-end clothing store, pauses to reflect on his actions. “It’s not about what you take,” he says, staring pensively at his new designer jacket. “It’s about how you take it.” The message is clear: looting isn’t just a crime—it’s an art form, one that requires practice, finesse, and, apparently, a soundtrack by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
While some may argue that Loot 2 is nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to cash in on the current cultural climate, Disney remains committed to their vision. After all, they’ve never been ones to shy away from controversy, especially when there’s money to be made. And with Loot 2 already generating buzz on social media, it’s clear that Disney’s gamble might just pay off.
Our Take
While Loot 2 might seem like a misguided attempt at social commentary, it’s also a perfect example of what happens when a corporation loses touch with reality. Teaching kids how to loot, even through the lens of animation, is a dangerous precedent to set. It’s bad for the public because it normalizes criminal behavior under the guise of “entertainment.” We can only hope that Disney rethinks its priorities before releasing Loot 3: The Art of Breaking and Entering.
