Hiker Lost for Two Weeks Ignored Calls From Rescuers Because of Unknown Numbers
Written by Benjamin Collins. In a story that reads more like a sitcom than a survival tale, a hiker lost for two weeks…
Author: Constitutional Nobody
America Reaches Peak Laziness: Recliners Now Come with Full Kitchens! (Video)
Written by Matthew Chandler. In what can only be described as the zenith of American ingenuity—or perhaps the nadir, depending on your perspective—recliners…
Trump Refuses to Shake Trudeau’s Hand. “There was a National Scandal the Last Time I Grabbed a Pussy.”
Written by Christopher Lightfoot. Former President Donald Trump decided to forgo shaking Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s hand during their recent meeting. The…
Tim Walz Promises a Tampon in Every Jock!
Written by Jessica Martin. Kamala Harris’s VP pick, Tim Walz, has announced a revolutionary policy. Forget tax cuts or healthcare reform—Walz promises to…
Admiral Rachel Levine Changes Her Gender Back to Male to Run for Vice President: “I’m Not Pandering”
Written by Michael Anderson. Admiral Rachel “Dick” Levine has announced a decision to change her gender back to male in preparation for a…
Trump Replaces Secret Service with Deadpool! “At Least He Tries.”
Written by Jacob Thompson. Former President Donald Trump announced he would replace his Secret Service detail with none other than Deadpool, the wisecracking…
Genius Kamala Harris Promises Cloud Upgrade: From Cumulus to Cumulonimbus!
Written by David Thompson. In an era where politicians are often accused of having their heads in the clouds, Kamala Harris has taken…
Slurpee Queen! Kamala Harris’ Work Experience Comes Back to Haunt Her!
Written by Samantha Green. Kamala Harris has faced her share of controversies, but her latest revelation has left everyone scratching their heads. It…
Jim Cramer Ensures Trump’s Victory by Endorsing Kamala Harris
Written by Jonathan Blake. Financial guru Jim Cramer has thrown his support behind Kamala Harris. The same Jim Cramer who’s known for his…