Journalists Uncover Kamala Harris’ McDonald’s “Work History”—Turns Out, It Was a Fisher-Price Play Set!
Written by Michael Stevens. In what could only be described as the most hilarious political gaffe of the year, journalists have finally located…
Author: Constitutional Nobody
Video: Elizabeth Warren Celebrates Columbus Day with a Dance to Her, “Ancestors!”
Written by Joseph Mitchell. In yet another eyebrow-raising moment for Senator Elizabeth Warren, the progressive icon was spotted celebrating Columbus Day by—wait for…
Democrats Accuse Local Man of Election Interference—For Locking Cemetery Gates!
Written by Matthew Hayes. In a shocking twist, local man Bob Jenkins is now being accused of election interference after, wait for it,…
Elon Musk to Automate Sandcrawlers for Mass Deportations!
Written by David Stevens. In a move that no one saw coming (but somehow, we all should have), Elon Musk has decided to…
Video: Kamala Harris Too Stupid to Shovel Shit, Literally!
Written by Andrew Mitchell. In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves across the nation, Vice President Kamala Harris has been declared, quite…
Video: KJP Cursed with Beetlejuice Syndrome. The More She Lies, the More Her Head Shrinks!
Written by David Thompson. In an unexpected twist, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre (KJP) seems to have contracted what can only be…
Study Finds CO2 is Greening Earth and Making Vegetation Flourish Worldwide!
Written by Jonathan Miller. In a world where carbon dioxide is the greatest villain since Lex Luthor, a recent study has the audacity…
Diddy Commits Suicide in Prison with Three Gunshot Wounds to the Head!
Written by Jacob Matthews. In what might be the most baffling case of “suicide” the world has ever seen, legendary music mogul Sean…
Disney Releases Rapunzel…as a Bald Black Woman?
Written by Sarah Thompson. In the latest effort to “modernize” beloved fairytales, Disney has announced a bold re-imagining of the classic character Rapunzel……