Democrats Accuse Local Man of Election Interference—For Locking Cemetery Gates!
Written by Matthew Hayes. In a shocking twist, local man Bob Jenkins is now being accused of election interference after, wait for it,…
Category: News
News
Elon Musk to Automate Sandcrawlers for Mass Deportations!
Written by David Stevens. In a move that no one saw coming (but somehow, we all should have), Elon Musk has decided to…
Video: Kamala Harris Too Stupid to Shovel Shit, Literally!
Written by Andrew Mitchell. In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves across the nation, Vice President Kamala Harris has been declared, quite…
Video: KJP Cursed with Beetlejuice Syndrome. The More She Lies, the More Her Head Shrinks!
Written by David Thompson. In an unexpected twist, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre (KJP) seems to have contracted what can only be…
Study Finds CO2 is Greening Earth and Making Vegetation Flourish Worldwide!
Written by Jonathan Miller. In a world where carbon dioxide is the greatest villain since Lex Luthor, a recent study has the audacity…
Diddy Commits Suicide in Prison with Three Gunshot Wounds to the Head!
Written by Jacob Matthews. In what might be the most baffling case of “suicide” the world has ever seen, legendary music mogul Sean…
Trojan Introduces Pre-Owned Condoms: Because Who Needs Fresh When You Can Recycle?
Written by Michael Donovan. In a move that will either make environmentalists proud or completely horrify everyone else, Trojan has just unveiled their…
Ohio Animal Shelters Celebrate Empty Cages!
Written by Peter Thompson. In what can only be described as the most unexpected turn of events in the history of American pet…
51 Former Intelligence Officials Debunk Claims of Pets Being Eaten as Russian Disinformation
Written by Luke Matthewson. It seems the world can’t go a single day without a new conspiracy emerging, and this time, it’s all…