Secretary Lloyd Austin Says Trump “Attention Hound” for Wearing Ear Bandage After Being Shot
Written by Luke Hamilton. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin has accused former President Donald Trump of being an “attention hound” following his public…
Category: News
News
Kim Cheatle, Director of Secret Service, Resigns in Humiliation. Plans to Regain Dignity with OnlyFans Account!
Written by Grace Patterson. In a stunning turn of events, Kim Cheatle, the once-respected director of the Secret Service, has tendered her resignation…
Trump’s New Security Team Include the McCloskeys and Kyle Rittenhouse! “We need Brave Men!”
Written by Kim Cheatle. In a stunning turn of events following the recent assassination attempt at his rally, former President Donald Trump has…
Police Saw Trump Shooter Well Before Attack! Ordered to Take Donut Break to Avoid Overtime Pay. Cite Budget Concerns.
Written by Jonathan Green. In a revelation that’s as absurd as it is laughable, law enforcement officials admitted they spotted the alleged Trump…
Netflix Produces DEI Biopic of JD Vance!
Written by Timothy Bradford. In a move that has left the internet in stitches and some folks shaking their heads, Netflix has announced…
Geico Hires Donald Trump. New Slogan: “Vote for Trump and you Could Save 50% or More.”
Written by Alexander Matthews. In a marketing move as bold as it is baffling, Geico has announced former President Donald Trump as the…
After Trump Shooting, Democrats Propose Mailing Out Guns to Make Getting Guns as Hard as Voting!
Written by Jessica Parker. In a move that has left many scratching their heads, Democrats have proposed a novel approach to gun control:…
Elizabeth Warren: “Trump Shooter Isn’t One of Us!”
Written by Brandon Mitchell. Elizabeth Warren has once again found herself in the spotlight, denying any relation to a controversial figure. This time,…
Alec Baldwin Arrested After Water Gun Fight at Kid’s Party, Drowns Two Kids. Claims He Never Touched the Trigger!
Written by James Whitaker. In a twist that could only be described as tragically ironic, Alec Baldwin found himself at the center of…