Democrats Reinstate Public School Shooting Classes After Trump Assassination Attempt Fails
Written by Mark Whittaker. In a move that has left many Americans scratching their heads, the Democrats have decided to reinstate shooting classes…
Chuck Norris Surrenders Title of “Baddest Man on Earth” to Donald Trump After Trump Swats Bullets with Bare Hands
Written by Samuel Johnson. In an event that sounds more like a comic book plot than reality, former President Donald Trump has apparently…
Democrats Stage Biden Bike Ambush to Garner Trump-Like Sympathy After Trump Dismisses Bullet!
Written by David Matthews. In a move that can only be described as audaciously absurd, Democrats have devised a new strategy to boost…
Democrats Indict Trump for Having Guns at Rally!
Written by Jacob Thompson. In an irony that even Alanis Morissette would envy, former President Donald Trump has been charged for allowing guns…
Blinding Sunlight Forces FBI and DOJ to Drop Trump Shooting Investigation!
Written by Michael Harrison. In a move that can only be described as uniquely American, the FBI and DOJ have dropped their investigation…
After Trump Shooting, Secret Service Requiring Agents to be 5 Feet Tall, Identify as Male.
Written by Johnathan Smith. In a move that has left many scratching their heads, the Secret Service announced new requirements for their agents:…
Secret Service Chief, Kimberly Cheatle, Demoted to Kitchen Staff. Pulls Trigger on Turkey Baster, Injures Three!
Written by Ethan Johnson. In a twist that could only be described as a Kafkaesque satire, Kimberly Cheatle, the former head of the…
Paul Blart Appointed to Lead Secret Service. Replaces Kimberly Cheatle, Boasts More Experience!
Written by Nathaniel Jones. In a move that has left the nation both bewildered and amused, Paul Blart, the infamous mall cop from…