US Army Now Too Weak to Resist Sexual Advances of Women
Written by Michael Thompson. Once the pinnacle of American strength and resilience, the U.S. Army is now facing an unexpected challenge that no…
Tag: national security
Kamala Shakes Her Ass For Votes: Ignores Talk About Economy, Peace Through Strength, Secure Borders. (Video)
Written by Samuel Jenkins. Kamala Harris, our esteemed Vice President, has decided that the best way to win votes is by shaking her…
Secret Service Director Sent Back to Training!
Written by Matthew Thompson. In an unprecedented turn of events, Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle has been reassigned from protecting the president to…
Secret Service Forced to Give Up Sunglasses, Now Able to See Threats!
Written by Jessica Matthews. The Secret Service has been forced to ditch their iconic sunglasses, revealing that the shades were, in fact, obstructing…
U.S. Navy Embracing Stereotypes of Being Gay and Weak. Bad Dancing and Skinny Margaritas Now Required. (Video)
Written by Rebecca Simmons. In a move that has left both allies and adversaries scratching their heads, the U.S. Navy has unveiled its…
Secret Service Agents Swap Jobs with Homemaker Wives! Biden’s DEI Success Story!
Written by Matthew Collins. In a move that’s left the nation both amused and puzzled, President Biden’s latest Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI)…
Secret Service Hires Stealthy Roof-Walking Cow as Agent! “People Just Can’t Do That.” – Director.
Written by Jennifer Thompson. In a surprising move that has both amused and baffled the nation, the Secret Service has announced the hiring…
Democrats Promote Chubby Secret Service Agents: Pelosi Declares “Failure is our greatest strength when it comes to Diversity!”
Written by Johnathan Smith. In an unprecedented and entirely ironic twist, the Secret Service has decided to promote agents based on their body…
After Trump Shooting, Secret Service Requiring Agents to be 5 Feet Tall, Identify as Male.
Written by Johnathan Smith. In a move that has left many scratching their heads, the Secret Service announced new requirements for their agents:…