Secret Service Warns Would-Be Assassins to Use Flat-Top Roofs or Be Fined!
Written by Jacob Harrison. The Secret Service has issued a warning to would-be assassins: use flat-top roofs or face hefty fines. This bizarre…
Tag: secret service
Secret Service Taps Uvalde Police Department for Elite Training
Written by Jessica Thompson. In a decision that’s left everyone baffled, the Secret Service has turned to the Uvalde Police Department for guidance….
Trump Shooter Outsmarts Secret Service with a Guitar Case!
Written by Jacob Anderson. In a plot straight out of a spy movie, a would-be assassin managed to outwit the Secret Service by…
Secret Service Agents Quitting in Droves After Trump Buys Guest House with Steep Slope!
Written by John Stevens. In an unprecedented move, former President Donald Trump has purchased a guest house with a steep slope, causing an…
Secret Service Agents Swap Jobs with Homemaker Wives! Biden’s DEI Success Story!
Written by Matthew Collins. In a move that’s left the nation both amused and puzzled, President Biden’s latest Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI)…
Secret Service Hires Stealthy Roof-Walking Cow as Agent! “People Just Can’t Do That.” – Director.
Written by Jennifer Thompson. In a surprising move that has both amused and baffled the nation, the Secret Service has announced the hiring…
Democrats Promote Chubby Secret Service Agents: Pelosi Declares “Failure is our greatest strength when it comes to Diversity!”
Written by Johnathan Smith. In an unprecedented and entirely ironic twist, the Secret Service has decided to promote agents based on their body…
Police Saw Trump Shooter Well Before Attack! Ordered to Take Donut Break to Avoid Overtime Pay. Cite Budget Concerns.
Written by Jonathan Green. In a revelation that’s as absurd as it is laughable, law enforcement officials admitted they spotted the alleged Trump…
After Trump Shooting, Secret Service Requiring Agents to be 5 Feet Tall, Identify as Male.
Written by Johnathan Smith. In a move that has left many scratching their heads, the Secret Service announced new requirements for their agents:…